UA-30075050-1

2012 Summer Reading List

May 16, 2012 in Preteen Ministry with 0 Comments


When I was a kid, I absolutely despised summer reading! The only reason for me to pick up a book in the summer time was to prop up the broken leg of the ping-pong table! But over the years, I’ve enjoyed the slower pace of summer and the opportunity it brings to read some books on my wish list. I may not get through them all, but here are the books I have on the agenda for this summer:

1. Big Truths for Young Hearts: Teaching and Learning the Greatness of God by Bruce A. Ware
I’m currently reading this book, and I am loving it. The purpose of the book is to enable parents of 6-14 year olds to guide their child through all major doctrines of the Christian faith. This book is Systematic Theology 101 put in an understandable, easy-to-use guide for parent-child discussions. I am definitely going to recommend this book for preteen parents.








2. Gospel-Centered Discipleship by Jonathan K. Dodson
I’m really excited about the emphasis that our church has placed on discipleship for the coming year. I’ve heard great things about this book, and I really think it can help me better define discipleship for my life and ministry. I’m also looking for some major themes that we can use to better train our leaders who are discipling preteens.








3. Speaking to Teenagers: How to Think About, Create, and Deliver Effective Messages by Doug Fields and Duffy Robbins
I’ve been in the Children’s Ministry world for 10 years, but I feel a shift occurring in our preteens and in our ministry philosophy. I really want to call them up and challenge them on a deeper level, so I’m hoping this book will give me some ideas for how to move in that direction. I know it may not be 100% applicable to preteens, but there are always transferable nuggets.








4. Bible Doctrine by Wayne Grudem
As we launch our new preteen ministry, the first year of curriculum is going to include teaching on some major doctrines: Biblical inspiration and authority, what is sin, the Gospel, etc. I spent two semesters going through Grudem’s Systematic Theology textbook, so I’m hoping this book will be a refresher for some of the points made in that book.








5. Growing up Too Fast: The Rimm Report on the Secret World of America’s Middle Schoolers by Sylvia Rimm
I’m intrigued by this study. The study surveyed over five-thousand preteens to look at the big issues they face in this stage of life. Many of the issues were thought to be “teenage” issues, but the study found that many preteens (and even younger children) were struggling with the issues.








6. Adolescence Isn’t Terminal by Kevin Leman
This is another book that I want to read in hopes that it might be a recommended resource for preteen parents. I’ve read other books from Dr. Leman, and I’m a fan of his research and writing style. The book tackles some major preteen issues such as sexual maturity, peer pressure, relationships, etc. The reviews all say that is very practical and helpful for parents, so I’m looking forward to reading it for myself.







What books are you reading this summer?
What books should I add to the list?


Video Friday: The Story of Ian Larissa

May 11, 2012 in Video Friday with 0 Comments

This video from Desiring God is a very moving example of love. You can download This Momentary Marriage for free here. I’m looking forward to reading it.


A Response to the Conversations on Same-Sex Marriage

May 10, 2012 in Preteen Ministry with 0 Comments

President Obama recently endorsed the idea of same-sex marriage, while the state of North Carolina voted to define marriage as the union between one man and one woman. The conversation was already happening, but these events have led to a barrage of rants and comments on the subject.

If you came looking for my comments or opinion on the subject, you’re not going to find it here. I do have a response to the issue, and I am not ashamed to share it. In fact, my responses, will most likely tip my hand. But I don’t feel like a status update, tweet, or blog post is the best way to share my views. If you wish to hear them, I would love to have a conversation with you in person or via Skype or phone. I choose not to discuss such sensitive things with anyone without being able to see them or at least hear their voice.

With that being said, the issue was too great and the activity happening on social media was too hazardous for me not to respond. I’m not responding to the issue itself, but to the conversations that it has sparked. Specifically the conversations that are taking place among Christians. Here is my plea to those of you that find time to make comments on the subject:

1. Do Not Make a Response without consulting the Bible and spending time in prayer
The majority of responses I’ve seen or heard have made flippant references to the Bible, but none have even tried to be educational or helpful. You cannot reference the Bible as a source without reading it. Stop pointing at the cover, and start showing people the pages. 2 Timothy 3:16 says,  

“All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness,”

As Christians, we have the Bible for the source of Truth for our lives, but also for the teaching of righteousness to others. For the Bible to be the powerful, effective tool that God intends, we need to be spending time in it and praying for wisdom to understand it. Don’t use the Bible as your crutch for this subject if it is not your crutch for daily life!

 

2. Please bury the hatred
This goes for Christians and Non-Christians. There will never be any healthy discussion or understanding when both sides approach the subject with a vile hatred for one another. If we want others to understand what the Bible says on the issue then we must approach them with respect and love. If your child was to sin, you would lovingly point them to the Bible and equip them with the Truth. Why can we not do the same on this subject?
Please read Ephesians 4:1-15.

 

3. Stop expecting your comments to just automatically change someone’s mind
I’ll never forget a comment from Michael Head, a pastor at my home church where I grew up. When a discussion arose about sin, Mike said,

“What do you expect from a lost world?”

His comment left an impression on me because it is true. It is ignorant for us to expect those who do not know the Truth to live by the Truth. We are all captive to sin until we experience the power of the Gospel.

Many times, we confront sin with the expectation that our crafty wit or rehearsed comments will change the minds/hearts of others. The problem is this is not our job. We are neither judge, nor ruler. Your comments can be helpful (if you keep #1 and #2 in mind), but change comes only through the revelation of the Gospel. (Please read Hebrews 1) Commit to spending as much or more time praying for the person as you spend arguing your point with them.

This conversation will not stop anytime soon, and it will likely become more intense. As a Christian, my prayer is that I am prepared (physically, mentally, and spiritually) to speak the Truth in love (without hatred for anyone) and committed to praying for God’s Will to be done in my life, as well as the lives of others.


8 Principles for Parenting from Dr. Robert Lewis

May 10, 2012 in Preteen Ministry with 4 Comments

Main Session #3 at the Preteen & Parent Retreat was led by Dr. Robert Lewis, author of Raising a Modern Day Knight and founder of Men’s Fraternity. I’m convinced that you could drop Dr. Lewis in any culture to talk about any topic, and he would inspire that audience and leave them wanting more. I know that our parents could have sat for hours discussing the topics that he brought up. Here are notes from his session:

Stay humble and know that to be a good parent you will always have to be in the posture of a learner.

Barna, “most parents assume they know what to do”

Here are some helpful things to remember in parenting:

1. 75% of all great parenting is a good marriage. (Build your marriage!!)

  • 40% of kids don’t have dad at home
  • Single parent homes, poorer health, poorer jobs, sexually active, drugs and alcohol more present
  • Two parent homes with poor marriage will have same characteristics as single parent home.
  • In the 50′s homes were not child-centered.  Today we are child-focused not marriage or home focused
  • Little parenting in the Bible, but a lot on marriage. (ex. Ephesians has 12 verses on marriage and 1 on parenting.)
  • A good marriage leads to good kids

2. Always keep the long-term in view when parenting

  • What is the long view? Where you as a parent’s primary focus is on character and Christ
  • You cannot make their popularity your major view
  • Contrast Tim Tebow vs Tiger Woods
  • Write down what you want them to be (know Jesus, loving, giving, responsible, loyal friend, others focused, etc). Will they be a difference maker or a problem?  Ask God to help you find ways to help instill these character traits.

3. Seek to balance discipline and instruction with love as a parent

  • Four quadrant figure from Men’s Fraternity (permissive, neglectful, authoritative, authoritarian)
  • Authoritative is high discipline and high love.  This is the best parent
  • Number 2 is the permissive which is high love and low discipline
  • Number 3 is neglectful…low discipline and low love
  • Number 4 is authoritarian…high discipline and low love
  • Ephesians 6:4 Fathers do not provoke your children to anger
  • “This is my beloved son in whom I am well pleased!!!” 6 times in the Gospels
  • Boys are looking for their Dad to say they are good enough

4. It is smart to sharpen and customize your parenting approach to each child by using objective testing tools

  • You will need help knowing your child.  You are not objective.
  • The more we know about our child’s uniqueness the better we will parent them
  • Today good testing mechanisms: personality, design, aptitude, and intelligence tests
  • First test is personality test. Robert uses melancholy, sanguine, choleric, phlegmatic. by Florence Letour
  • You don’t ever change your personality
  • aptitude test is a must before college (Aims aptitude testing)
  • Design test in High school
  • Intelligence testing will be done in school

5. Real Christianity for a child is caught or lost at home

  • Do not become dependent on the church for your child’s Christianity
  • Paul said follow me as a follow Christ. Should be the model of your home!!
  • Number one thing of families is to be open and honest in communication, especially about your Christianity
  • Don’t pretend and live different from what you say.  Kids will sniff that out and it will inoculate them against Christianity
  • Be authentic!!!

6. Avoid the four horseman of “Too Much”

  • Too much control.  Micromanaging a child 12 to 18 will kill them.  ”I will trust you until you prove me wrong”
  • Too much money and stuff spoils and pacifies
  • Too much of high expectations discourages and wounds
  • Too much taking care of. Too much care in sons will steal their masculinity. Moms have to unplug the mom cord when they turn 12 or 13.

7. Spend lots of personal time with your child one on one

  • They will have unbelievable doubts from their friends, and quality time will help them.
  • Date your daughter

8. Provide clear gender vision

  • Focus on sexually, socially, and spiritually
  • Bless them by answering what it means to be a man or what it means to be a woman.
  • Need a Biblical Definition of manhood and womanhood

Casting Vision for Preteen Ministry

May 9, 2012 in Preteen Ministry with 0 Comments

Part 2 of an amazing weekend was a Parent Meeting to cast vision for the future of preteen ministry at our Church. Our church is embarking on a new journey to be a church that is…

making disciples who live by God’s grace and for His glory at home and across the world.

While striving to accomplish this mission, there are certain values that will define who Fellowship is as a church. These values are: Connection, Transformation, and Multiplication.

As preteen ministry, we want to align with this vision and these values. This means change—exciting change.

We had over 250 parents show up for the meeting. Some had heard rumors of change, some were completely oblivious, and many had helped us pray and plan for this day. With the parents and the preteens in the room, we officially launched Fifty6, our new preteen ministry.

I have to admit that we were nervous about the change and communicating that to parents. The church has had a great preteen ministry long before I came, and I didn’t want to them to feel like I was running it into the ground. As we communicated the vision, the room filled up with excitement. Parents caught the vision and they bought in.

Here are three things we communicated to help parents “buy-in” to the vision for preteen ministry:

1. Information
To help parents see where we were going, we literally walked them through every detail of what a Sunday morning would look like. We intentionally scheduled the meeting in the space that will become our preteen ministry space—even though it currently smells like gym socks! We gave them a detailed time schedule for what a Sunday morning would look like for their preteen. And then we gave them a 2 year scope and sequence for the curriculum that we are currently writing. We wanted them to know everything we knew about what preteen ministry would look like moving forward. As G.I. Joe says, “Now you know, and knowing is half the battle!”

2. 6th Grade Leadership Team
This is more than a curriculum or room change, this is a philosophy change. We are viewing 5th and 6th graders differently than we have in the past. One aspect of that is the ability for 6th graders to lead and serve on our campus. We communicated our vision for 6th grader to be a part of a Leadership Team that serves by leading worship, running production tech, greeting guests, setting up, etc. The preteens were jumping at the chance to fill out an application. Parents bought in to the vision because many of them had never seen their preteen that excited about coming to church!

3. Parent Involvement
A huge part of the philosophy change is a better strategy for partnering with parents. We talked with parents about how we partner with them to cover tough subjects like sex, pornography, substance abuse, relationships, etc. Our role is not to have that conversation with preteens, but to equip parents to have that conversation with preteens. We wanted parents to understand that our ministry exists primarily to strengthen their relationship with their preteen so that they can transfer faith to their son or daughter.

How do you cast vision to parents, volunteers, or preteens in your ministry?


Page 1 of 2012345»1020...Last »