Archives For Preteen Ministry

gate-locked-zoomedMonday, I posted some startling facts about sexual abuse. Those statistics led me to ask the question, “Is Your Church Safe?”

Many schools and non-profit organizations are heightening their security in light of recent sexual abuse scandals. As they raise the barriers that prevent sexual abusers from entering their organization, the lower barriers around our churches become the prime target for offenders.

Many churches rely on background checks and secure check-in procedures to keep their kids safe. While those things are certainly necessities, there is more that a church can and should do to protect themselves.

Here are some keys to guarding against sexual abuse in your ministry:

1. Background Checks

“But you said background checks don’t protect against sexual abuse!” No, they alone don’t protect against sexual abuse because only 10% of offenders enter the criminal system. However, background checks are still a necessary part of a complex security plan. Don’t stop doing background checks!

2. Interview/Screen Volunteers

After the background check returns, schedule an interview with the potential volunteer regardless of what the check reveals. Ask key questions about their past, their reasons for serving, and how they would respond to certain scenarios. An interview with every potential volunteer creates another level of security because it allows a trained staff member an opportunity to look for warning signs of possible issues.

3. Sexual Abuse Awareness Training

Provide sexual abuse awareness training for all potential volunteers. When you train volunteers for the new ministry year, include this element in your training event. Awareness Training gives every volunteer the appropriate definitions of sexual abuse and the “red flags” to look for while serving in your ministry. The training also tells a would-be offender that you are intent on protecting the children in your ministry.

By providing training, you’ve know created a community of eyes that can watch and protect against sexual abuse. They are well-informed and know to report suspect behaviors before an incident. The people at MinistrySafe.com provide tons of information about sexual abuse awareness training, and they even offer the training online for churches.

4. Create Policies and Procedures

Does your ministry have a policy and procedure manual? Does it include anything about sexual abuse and how to report? This is a tricky one. You definitely need to have some instructions on sexual abuse reporting for volunteers. In our state, any church staff member or volunteer is a mandatory reporter. We must report suspected abuse.

I say it’s tricky because you must do what you say you’re going to do! If you’re policy and procedure manual says that you will train volunteers, provide report forms for suspected abuse, and have a staff member on-call at all services—you must do all o those things or be found liable! If an incident should occur, the court will judge the church based on the policies and procedures they have in place, so they better be followed.

5. Regularly Evaluate Activities and Facilities

Peer-to-Peer sexual abuse has seen a 300% increase in recent years. Regular evaluation of your facility means that you look for possible locations—bathrooms, closets, isolated classrooms, etc.—where sexual abuse might occur. Even if you know a volunteer would not take a kid to that area, it does not mean that peer-to-peer abuse won’t happen. You should also evaluate the activities of your ministry to be sure that no children or volunteers are being put into risky situations.

6. Connect with MinistrySafe

I am not an employee of MinistrySafe. I am not getting any kickback from them. I’m just a student in a class that heard Attorney Greg Love of MinistrySafe talk about all these issues and even more. As a father to 2 girls, my heart burned for more protection in our church. I was impressed with their passion to help churches. The MinistrySafe System is $100/year. It includes sexual abuse awareness training, tracking for background checks and interviews, screening forms for interviews, and sample policies and procedures. Even if you can’t sign up for the system, I encourage you to check out www.ministrysafe.com and see how they can help protect your ministry.

church-liability-insurance

If a parent asked you, “What are you doing to provide a safe environment for my child?” Do you know what you would tell them?

Most churches would tell that parents that their ministry is safe because they 1) background check every volunteer, and 2) provide a secure check-in procedure with parent security tags. Those are necessities for every ministry. If you’re not already doing those two things, stop what you’re doing and get on the ball. But is that enough?

These facts about sexual abuse suggest that we might ought to do more:

The Victims:

  • 60 million survivors of sexual abuse in the US
  • 1 in 3 females will be sexually abused by age 18
  • 1 in 6 males will be sexually abused by age 18
  • 66% of victims do not report the abuse until adulthood (if ever)

The Abusers

  • Only 10% of sexual abusers ever enter the criminal system. The other 90% will never be found through a background check.
  • Sexual Abusers are rarely strangers. 90% of victims know and trust their abuser.
  • Secure Check-in procedures best protect against psychotic sexual abusers, those that will abduct, or “snatch and run,” with children. The “Psychotic Offender” represents only 4% of sexual abuse.
  • The majority of sexual abuse is done by a “Preferential Offender,” who has a preferred gender and age for victims.
  • 85% of sexual abusers are men. Many of them are “unidentifiable” based upon outward appearance. They look much like others in your church.
  • Average male abuser begins victimizing at age 13 or 14.
  • Prior to being caught and prosecuted, male abusers who choose boys will molest an average of 150 victims. Those who choose girls will molest an average of 52 victims.
*Data provided by MinistrySafe.com

These statistics are scary. Sexual abuse happens in many venues, but the church is becoming a target as other organizations raise their fences to protect children. The church must follow suit. Our background checks and secure check-in procedures are not enough to keep this horror from entering our ministries. We must do more.

Tomorrow, I’ll be posting some details on the process an abuser goes through to select victims. This information is important because there are tell-tale signs that can help you guard against abuse in your ministry. I will also post some ideas for how to better protect against the sexual abuse.

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There have been times when I’ve felt like other people must have more hours in their day than I have in mine. I see the things they accomplish, and I’m honestly jealous. I’ve realized that I waste a lot of valuable time that could be better used to get ahead.

My world has changed a lot in the last couple of weeks, so I’ve begun a massive overhaul of my work routines. I’m hoping to find more space and more hours to get ahead and accomplish more.

Here are some things I’m doing to get ahead (or at least caught up):

1. Updated To Do List

I’ve always kept a To Do list, but I’m making a concentrated effort to categorize the tasks that go on the list. I’ve even setup a color coded system to use. (Thanks Debby Hamilton for the awesome pens!) When I find myself losing time in a week, I can quickly review the To Do list to see what area is taking up the most time. This will help me to rearrange my routine when the season calls for it.

2. Schedule Breaks

I’m a procrastinator and a people-person. In a large office, that’s not a good combination. I tend to spend more time out of my office each day than I do in my office. I’m setting alarms to alert me when a schedule break is available to use. After the break, it’s back to work and the alarm is reset. (I’m searching for a Mac app that will help with this. Any ideas?) Scheduling breaks will keep me focused longer and minimize my self-inflicted interruptions. I’ll still make my social rounds around the office, but less frequently than I did before.

3. Designated Times for Designated Tasks

I pride myself on my ability to multitask. However, I was surprised to learn that multitasking actually makes the worker less productive. While I’m writing, I tend to still check email or answer phone calls. When I’m in a creative planning meeting, I’m still jotting down notes for the writing tasks that I have on my plate. There are times when multitasking will be necessary, but I am minimizing it by creating designated times for designated tasks.

4. Establish New Routines

One of the most damaging effects on my productivity is my inconsistent schedule. Most weeks, my afternoons are meeting-free and great times for writing. This week, however, every afternoon is packed with counseling appointments for an upcoming baptism. I’m working to find the times in my schedule that are consistently open so that I can utilize them for my most important tasks.

How do you get ahead?
Where do you find the “extra hours” in your work that help you to get more done?

I’d love to hear your tips and advice to better help me in this schedule overhaul.

7 Days

The big day is only 7 days away! In case you haven’t heard, we’re anxiously awaiting the arrival of our 2nd child, Macy Kate. As we prepare to welcome Macy into our world, I began to think about the ways my life will change.  Here’s what I know so far:

More Life

Our life is fun.More life means more fun, right?

Jerry Seinfeld said it best when he said, “Having a 2-year-old is like having a blender with no lid.” Even in the chaos, we’ve managed to create a semi-normal life in our home. We’ll call it our ecosystem. Now, I’m not a scientist, but I know that it is dangerous to throw a new living thing into an existing ecosystem. That one additional creature totally changes the ecosystem. That’s what we’re doing by bringing home another baby. We have developed routines and habits that will likely be changed by this new life. This new life will take center stage at 2 a.m. just as much as it does at 2 p.m.!  But with new life comes new excitement! I’m looking forward to adding even more life to our already fun and full lives.

More Love

I love my wife more than anything on earth. Maggie is right behind her. And now we get to add Macy to the mix.

As a husband, I’m looking forward to loving my wife and caring for her needs as a mom of 2. As a daddy, I’m looking forward to showing my daughters how much I love their mother and how much I love them. I’m also looking forward to teaching them how to reflect Christ’s love in their world. And in addition to all of that, I’m looking forward to watching love develop between Maggie and Macy as sisters. This is a new love for our house, so it should be exciting to watch it develop.

sharing love with another child and teaching her to love by the way I . I’m excited because we, as parents, will get to show our love for her and teach her to love. But I’m even more excited to watch love play out between her and Maggie as sisters.

Dana & Maggie